Why I’m going to die
I have an addiction to something that looks fairly harmless but slowly kills you once it has you in its grasp. It’s a white powder. Any guesses? That’s right. It’s Lo-Salt.
Man is that stuff addictive! It’s a low-sodium alternative to salt that looks like salt and smells like salt (if salt could be said to have a smell), but there’s no taste to it until after it’s dissolved on your tongue, which is an experience unlike anything other than… well, anything. You would’ve thought that the fact that it’s made by a company called KLINGE would put you off, but it doesn’t. You just keep on pouring little piles onto your hand and knocking them back. I haven’t got to putting my mouth to the little holes in the lid and pouring it direct. That’s a stage two addiction.
Deceptively, it says it’s good for you in comparison to normal salt. Apparently not when you eat enough of it to flavour a banquet in one sitting. Every time I find it in the cupboard, I’m sitting feeling awful five minutes later, with just one thought on my mind; “Man, was that worth it.”
Now if you’ll excuse me - A friend of mine’s given me a couple other white powders he said I might like, and I don’t want to be rude.