I should go into comedy I’m so amazing
Hello everybody. How are we all today? I appreciate that there’s not been nearly a long enough gap between posts but for some reason I felt compelled to write not out of the normal guilt that comes with neglect, but instead with an actual wish to write a blog entry. This worries me, because it’s this sort of actual enjoyment from blogging that the majority of blogs come from. And the majority of blogs are BORING. the blogosphere should implement an ego tax. I don’t know how, they just… should.
Anyway, I’ve been coming up with some CRAAAZY ideas recently and I thought I’d share. Here they are.
Firstly, I went to Edinburgh and was hugely disappointed because it was lovely. It’s meant to be a pit of scumbaggery and despair! Haven’t you SEEN Trainspotting? Secondly, I realised that thanks to my hugely retentive memory, I recently was able to comment on the manufacture of crisps with knowledge taken in its entirety from an episode of Come Outside that I caught the second half of. The great thing was that I sounded actually knowledgeable. It was as though I had a crisp-making PHd from the University of Aunty Mabel, and I felt great! then I remembered how Pippin had accidentally stolen a bag of crisps from the place, and Aunty Mabel didn’t seem upset and then I felt sad because Aunty Mabel was as good as condoning shoplifting. I was a weird kid.
Also, they’ve started showing episodes of Come Outside in the middle of the night now. What’s the point in that? It’s only going to confuse people who are looking for porn and instead of coming across half an hour of dogging, get hit in the face with Aunty Mabel versing you in the ways of the celery industry. Maybe they deserve it.