people like me, and I love the peoples!
Yup, this is actually a picture that my close friend and member of my (non-obsessive) fan club Alex Sims painted of me! She is an awesome artist and a really lovely person, and you can find her stuff here!
Okay, so so many things have been happening recently it is unreal, and while I normally disagree with the principle of actually writing about what has happened to one in their blog, because it’s usually so damn boring, I hope I’ll be able to entertain you as I regale you with tales of what the hell happened to me, and hopefully it will also fill you in as to why I haven’t posted on here in a tinier version of forever, and it also may inspire Frank Monea to write once again on these hallowed pages, and grace us with his words! I’ve been a huge fan of Frank Monea ever since I was very very young, and he has always inspired me, and I have always aspired to such great heights of talent as posessed by Frank. I see some of you, (*cough*Ina*cough*Rhian*cough*) have taken to being quite harsh with Frank. I’d ask you to leave him alone, because as one of my heroes, it hurts me to see you offending such a great man as Frank. Frank, if you were offended, please come back. I miss you.
Okay, so things that have happened — well, for one thing, me and my ukulele (thanks, frank!) have been wreaking a kind of mini-acoustic havoc in Reigate College, starting with my success at the Reigate College Battle of the Bands. I won that, and then partook in the Open Air Festival a few weeks later, performing mostly my own songs. Since then I’ve got myself a wonderful bunch of new friends, two fan clubs and a portrait. All in all, it’s been a great few weeks.
Now as for these fan clubs, there are two, as I said. One is peculiarly obsessive, and has done such things as attempted to create a religion around me (although it were a half-arsed attempt, let’s be honest, seeing as they were blatantly attempting to simply modify the framework of Christianity, most notably with the lord’s prayer with my name in it). After this creeped me out, a second, not obsessive fan club was set up. This is currently the larger one, and indeed it’s the one I would ask you to join if you feel the need to do such a thing, however it is the obsessive one that is more pro-active, actually filming an interview with me and recording a solo session of me and my ukulele performing uncertainty to put on the Tom Milsom Fan Club bebo page. Well exactly, that’s what I said too, but they didn’t listen.
You see, as it happens I’ve gone through a bit of a phase recently. Turns out I can actually write halfway decent songs, not like Happy Days if any of you have stuck around with me long enough to remember that, but about proper things like love and friendship and relationships and lobsters. I’ve been coming up with lines like “And if I had a pound/for every time you turned me down/I’d have one pound fifty/in my bank account right now”, and people are really starting to get into it, which is lovely… for eight years I’ve been playing and learning music, and to now be at a stage where I can write songs that people actually like is really lovely. 
I’ll be performing at the big battle of the bands… essentially it’s the next round and the Reigate College BotB was just warmup… and I don’t know where or when it is, but when I do, I’ll post it on here and you’re all welcome to come along, but for now, goodnight my friends, and I will certainly try to talk to you soon.
Ina said,
May 18, 2007 @ 1:21 am
Ah, remember the one I did about two or three years ago?
This one beats mine. Seriously.
No, you don’t even know, man.
Tom said,
May 19, 2007 @ 1:30 am
Ina, you are seriously awesome. I can’t believe you actually still check this thing every day. I know I can rely on you until the end of the earth.
Frank Monea said,
May 19, 2007 @ 2:56 pm
Tom,
TOM,
I check this site TWICE everyday, however my server was down recently and my wife and me were forced to watch her recorded ‘Loose Women’ tapes. High quality material, some of it smutty, and not an adequate second choice to your website/blog!
I would love to join your fan club (do you need my address?) and I cannot believe that you were such a fan of me through my accountancy*. It really is a small world.
My wife and I are quite concerned about you entering this ‘Battle of the Bands’. We agree that if we were ever to enter such an event we would arm ourselves with a Cello, rather than a ukulele. You may have beaten them in the smaller battle but I would have thought the bigger one would get quite nasty.**
Commiserations,
Frank Monea
P.S. The portait of you seems to have been taken when you were biting your nails. If this is a consistent habit then I would recommend you stop right now. When I was younger I used to do it and that has led to the bowel problems I have been victim to during the past twelve years.
*That could be a good lyric in one of your songs.
**If you are attached to your ukulele, why not use a cymbal alongside it as a shield?
Ina said,
May 22, 2007 @ 12:15 am
*Oooh I’m Frank and I have no life because I czech Tom’s blog TWICE a day. I am slightly creepy, because Tom is a teenage boy, whilst I am a married man.*
Frank Monea said,
May 22, 2007 @ 3:42 pm
Ina-the three letters that I have omitted from my alphabet,
In England we spell ‘check’ C-H-E-C-K. Unless we are using an abbreviated term in referance to a Czech Republican. In future why not use your spell-CHECK.
If that was an impression of me, then you’re obviously not Rory Bremner*. As I do not speak like that. Also, it is not only me who reads it twice a day, I read it with my wife. We read it first thing after breakfast and then after supper, once the food has gone down**.
Did you actually have a point to make, or were you just using this site to try out your latest impressions?
From
F. Monea
*A famous British impressionist.
**And sometimes after lunch if it is a particularly meaty topic!!
Tom said,
May 29, 2007 @ 5:35 pm
Ah Frank, I knew I could rely on you as well! I of course appreciate your devotion, and as of yet there is no official way to join the fan club, however if you would like to have a ukulele jamming session at some point in the future, I’d be happy to.
Tom
PS: Ina, please. Frank is a man of substance.
Frank Monea said,
May 30, 2007 @ 2:54 pm
Definitely.
I’ll bring the ukes and my wife makes very good jams*.
Frank M.
*Apricot flavour-my personal favourite!!