The Grand - archaic in its currency
Today I was talking with my friend Andrew George about what the first month of films would be if I had a cinema. Initially, I said, I would start the running with a double bill of ‘My Wrongs #8245-8249 & 117′ by Chris Morris and ‘A Clockwork Orange’ by Stanley Kubrick, but then I started thinking… and here’s the real list. Welcome to the Grand, a cinema so backward, we’re forward.
THE GRAND - comprehensive listing for July - August 2007
Jul 2, 4, 6: Japanese Teenage Wasteland - a study on Japanese interpretation of youth Culture
Akira (Katsuhiro Ôtomo, 1988)/Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku, 2000)
Jul 7, 8: Le fabuleux destin d’Amelie Poulain
(Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 2001)
Jul 9, 11, 13: From Russia With Love - 20th century warfare in the Eastern Bloc
Goodbye Lenin! (Wolfgang Becker, 2003)/Schindler’s List (Steven Spielberg, 1993)
Jul 14, 15: Casablanca
(Michael Curtiz, 1948)
Jul 16, 17: A Pegg and Wright Double Bill
Shaun of the Dead (Edgar Wright, 2004)/Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright, 2007)
Jul 18: Dr. Strangelove
(Stanley Kubrick, 1964)
Jul 20: Warm Water under a Red bridge
(Shohei Imamura, 2001)
Jul 21, 22: Jean De Florette - double bill
Jean De Florette/Manon Des Source (Claude Berri, 1986)
Jul 23, 25, 27: This American Life - two films studying the minutiae of teenage life in america
Napoleon Dynamite (Jared Hess, 2004), Ghost World (Terry Zwigoff, 2001)
Jul 27, 28: Pokemon: The First Movie (Mew vs. Mewtwo)
(Michael Haigney & Kunihiko Yuyama, 1999)
Jul 30, 31: Romeo and Juliet
(Baz Lurhmann, 1996)
===
So there you go. Would you visit the Grand? On your third visit, you get a free popcorn!
Daniel said,
July 20, 2007 @ 2:07 am
Do we still get the free pokemon card for watching the pokemon movie?
Ina said,
July 20, 2007 @ 8:09 pm
POPCORN?!
I would go for almonds.
Frank Monea said,
July 21, 2007 @ 6:49 pm
Ina,
I believe popcorn is better suited to a visit to the cinema. Tom, I agree with Casablanca. I’m not familiart with some of the other titles. How about’The Great Escape’ or even ‘Battle of Britain’?
From,
Frank Monea
P.S. My wife suggests ‘Gone with the Wind’. I agree to an extent.
Kenneth Leyland said,
July 24, 2007 @ 12:35 am
Frank,
SPELLING ERROR: ‘familairt’ is not a word. I will use my amazingly advanced deduction capabilities to decide you meant to say ‘familiar’.
Also, there should be a space after ‘about’ and before ‘The’. By this I mean there should be a single space between the two and not two spaces between the one (two).
Ina,
I was contemplating this. Almonds is a random (and stupid) choice over the preferred and more mainstream ‘popcorn’ counterpart for Movie-Going snacking. Do you prefer the ‘Almonds’ in question because you are in fact: nutty?
Tom,
I am somewhat bad at puns. I just wanted you to know. Which you do.
Love,
Kenneth Leyland
PS Everyone: When I go to the movies, I don’t eat anything and just enjoy the movie. Call it respect (or intelligence) either way, I’m better than you.
Frank Monea said,
July 24, 2007 @ 3:56 pm
Kenneth,
It’s people like you who are not permitted membership to my local leisure centre.
Thank-you for correcting my spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, though I should add that they were not MY mistakes but my wife’s, since she was typing at the time. From now on, to avoid any further complications, I am going to type all of my comments. She agrees that this is the only solution.
From,
F. Monea
P.S. My wife says that you don’t eat whilst viewing films because the ones that you watch are pornography. Therefore, you need as many hands free as possible. If you know what she means. Which I don’t.
Ina said,
July 24, 2007 @ 10:38 pm
Ken,
Well, if a person is lactose intolerant or vegan (I am both) then they can’t trust popcorn, with all the buttery junk that’s put into it.
Honestly.
Kenneth Leyland said,
July 26, 2007 @ 4:56 am
Dear Frank’s Wife,
It is clear (given your extended knowledge on the topic of ‘masturbation’) that you have to do this quite often to please your inner-needs. Which is quite understandable considering your ‘husband’ (or pathetic excuse for that) is a loser who is to busy reading blogs all day to even begin to notice how much porn you watch (45 films a day).
Ina,
Butter is made by churning fresh or fermented cream or milk. Butter is used as a spread and a condiment, as well as in cooking applications such as baking, sauce making, and frying. As a result, butter is consumed daily in many parts of the world. Butter consists of butterfat surrounding minuscule droplets consisting mostly of water and milk proteins. The most common form of butter is made from cows’ milk, but it can also be made from the milk of other mammals, including sheep, goats, buffalo, and yaks. Salt, flavorings, or preservatives are sometimes added to butter. Rendering butter produces clarified butter or ghee, which is almost entirely butterfat. When refrigerated, butter remains a solid, but softens to a spreadable consistency at room temperature, and melts to a thin liquid consistency at 32–35 °C (90–95 °F). Butter generally has a pale yellow color, but varies from deep yellow to nearly white. The color of the butter depends on the animal’s feed and is commonly manipulated with food colorings in the commercial manufacturing process, most commonly annatto or carotene.
It is clear that being a vegan should not deter you eat from snacking on raw bars of butter. And since your lactose intolerant I could only hope you would do so and in result vomit for 3940 hours. I would laugh for this entire time period.
Dear Frank,
Aren’t vegans the lamest thing EVAR?
Plus, that ‘Evar’ was an intentional alteration on the word ‘ever’. I was trying to misspell a word in hopes that you would find me easier to relate to and agree with me.
Which you probably won’t. Because you’re dumb.
Love*,
Kenneth Leyland
*I say this only because I am incredibly polite and friendly**
**A privilege God obviously did not bestow upon anyone here.
Anonymous said,
July 26, 2007 @ 8:02 pm
PLEASE! PLEASE! THIS IS A PLEASANT PLACE! STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
Ina - vegans are fine. Thank you for not offending anybody.
Ken - I love you too, my dear, but there’s no need to start throwing insults at Frank’s wife or Ina, both of whom are lovely people (and Frank’s wife also happens to make the most delectable apple pies). Pedantry is never becoming in a handsome young man such as yourself.
Frank - I appreciate your imput, I also agree with Gone to the Wind to an extent… something for the ladies, I would suppose! Thank you in advance for keeping your wife under control.
Yours, in hope to keep the peace,
Tom
Kenneth Leyland said,
July 27, 2007 @ 12:10 am
Dear Blog,
Listen, I know we write all over you and don’t give you a chance to speak for yourself. But notice we have something in common. Tom ‘Cool Guy’ Milsom gets up here and starts talking all business and such. Meanwhile, he compliments Ina, plays pleasantries with Frank (and his deranged wife) and then says that I’m a jackass.
We are alike because he rudely didn’t even address you as a human being. Even if you aren’t. You should be able to be treated like one. Dig?
I say we start a rebellion.
Love,
Kenneth Leyland
AKA
The Rebel
(get it rebellion? so I’d be a rebel.)
PS I’m so lonely right now.
Frank Monea said,
July 27, 2007 @ 9:57 am
Ken(neth),
My wife is in tears having read your hurtful and disgusting words. I hold sympathy with her. Starting a rebellion is very wrong and you have no right to do so on this site. Having been constantly appalled by your behaviour in these blogs, I have done some investigating. It saddens me that such people live in Surrey, my home county. I’ve also found out that you have been charged of theft from Gatwick Airport*. Now, having not seen the error of your ways, you are trying to steal this site from Tom through starting a rebellion on this blog. You will not be successful, even if it meaans Ina, me and my wife sharing a suit of armour.
Methinks that you have been blocked from commenting on another site. Now you have moved onto this one. Yet this blog is not to be used merely for your kicks, but should be a way of commenting on the articles and current affairs.
Yours unrebelliously,
Frank Monea
Second Peacemaker (followed only by my wife)
*The last time I ever used that airport I lost my reading/sunglasses. If you know of their whereabouts please tell me.
Kenneth Leyland said,
August 2, 2007 @ 12:50 am
Dear everyone,
After a careful break down and evening filled with ponderous ideas and questions, I have come to a final conclusion regarding my stance on this ‘blog’. I have decided it would be in mine (and everyone’s*) best interest for me to remove my presence entirely. I am sure this will be filled with sadness and remorse** but I ensure that in time you will all grow incredibly from the loss. I wish you all the best of luck, and bid adeiu***.
LessThanThree,
Kenneth Leyland
*Ina, Tom, Frank Monea, Frank’s Wife
**in the form of parties and shouts of joy
***It’s french.
Frank Monea said,
August 2, 2007 @ 7:17 pm
Kenneth,
You are indeed ‘un homme gentil’ (a gentleman). I only hope that Ina can learn from your example.
Frank M.
Ina said,
August 5, 2007 @ 7:53 pm
Aw, how sweet.
Kenneth Leyland said,
August 19, 2007 @ 9:55 pm
Dear Everyone,
I am back because no one has said anything in weeks.
Love Kenneth Leyland